Now, forgive me for being emotional (or EMO as the kids call it these days) but the author of and manager of this blog as been struggling with an unbreakable pattern dealing poor relationship habits and choices. I'm usually one to keep it to myself and a close few of friends and family, but I feel it is time to cast out a bit of a vent to see if there is any sort of...preliminary healing, that can come from this.
I have ben told that I am a, relatively good looking guy (feel free to develop your own opinions, they matter none to me) and the standard this day and age is that the good looking people tend to have the best luck with relationships and the opposite sex (if you are heterosexual in this case). It has been nearly a year since my last girlfriend and I can't help but think, "what the fuck did I do wrong?" The last few of my relationships have been, problematic, to say the least, from manipulation to straight up lying, It never seems to work out for me in the end. Now comes the difficult admittance of my own faults. I have had a habit of connecting with a girl and then enveloping myself with her and only her, basically I stick to the one female, even though we have only embrace the connection and any idea of dating has only barely started, and then, however many dates or days (sad I know) later, I get that disappointing text message or phone call saying things like, "You're an amazing guy but..." and ending with "..I'm so sorry". Whether they are saying things like they want to focus on their career and they don't want to break my heart, or that we are just not right for each other. Needless to say 9 times out of 10 they have found a better (or be it douchier) guy to spend their time with, and find it better for them if they lay me with a bullshit excuse then just tell me flat out, but iI digress. Yet I get my hopes up for that one girl and all else becomes second to this person (relationship wise) I used to have the problem of putting my girlfriend before everything else, including family, work and my education (perhaps whoever I was with at the time will understand the damage that was done with that type of manipulation). Thankfully I have learned from my mistake to better prioritize things that will help me survive and not turn me into a dick to other people. It still seems the the pattern of getting my hopes up and being severely disappointed is that last little inch that is between me and the first step to happiness.
Something I forgot to mention to anyone reading this who knows me in the relationship manner. Please keep in mind I dont hate you (most of you) <<actually disregard that, I just severely dislike some of you, and I hope you will know who you are. Also, this is for a certain demographic of women, the "whine about every guy, yet crawl back to the same douchy type" focus group of women. I unfortunately had a run-in similar to this earlier today, and I know for the fact that girl will not read this, and if she does, she will probably make me out to be the bad guy, and talk all kinds of shit and negativity, and im sure plenty of the "douche-bag guido-wannabe" guys will sympathize with her, but anyway...Ladies if a man legitimately reaches out to you sincerely to get to know you, keep in mind I didn't say hook up, but get to know you, don't ignore them, and then go off...ON FACEBOOK...how no man likes you and you can't find the right guy (even though you will probably crawl back to your "fuck head" of an ex just because he's all you could get or for some other God-forsaken reason...wink wink). And finally when that guy has had enough of your pathetic bullshit of ignorance and stuck-up pickiness, and tell you whats up, don't make excuses like "oh I was really busy" or "there's too many messages to keep track of (excuse the girl sed today)", and then try to tell them off by calling them a dick and what not. Sorry ladies, none of that is classy or respectable by any means. And in all honesty if this doesn't sink in, let me direct you to a song The ill Mind of Hopsin 5, he can easily speak to your ignorant sensibilities. Keep in mind I am not here to offend I just need to get this out in the world, and if you do get offended, come to me like an adult about it, or just shut your mouth, Facebook is not an anonymous toilet you can shit in, public forums always have a way of getting back to you.
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